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Friday, March 15, 2013

Between the Rain and Sun-baked Sidewalks

           The suitcases sat quietly, clustered in the corner while the rain pattered against the window. Most of the apartment had been packed away: only the furniture remained, scattered throughout the small studio. Boxes filled much of the other space, most stacked near the door opposite the suitcases. Their coats were on the arm of the battered couch.

            Cassidy knelt down, stuffing the last of her colorful scarves into a little, black carry-on. With a huff, she zipped the over-stuffed bag and brushed her hair out of her face. Glancing over her shoulder, she watched her friend, Kim, tuck a particularly oblong plastic bin on top of the growing stack in her bedroom. They had met in their undergraduate Psychology program at Drake, during their sophomore year. The two had been close friends ever since.
Kim’s short, brown hair fell into her face as she shifted the parcel. They both jumped when one of the smaller boxes fell to the floor with a heavy thump. Cassidy looked up at Kim, an eyebrow raised.
            “It was just clothes. Don’t worry,” Kim said.
            Cassidy pursed her lips and resumed packing.
            On the desk, an acceptance lettered fluttered in time with the whirring space heater. It was emblazoned with the Boston University letterhead – all gold embellishments and bold, black lettering. Cassidy glanced up at it and a small smile graced her lips. She was really going. Finally.
            Kim huffed behind her. “Ok.”
            “All done?” Cassidy stood, brushing off her beat-up jeans. “My mom’ll be here with the car any minute.”
            Kim lifted a shoulder, tugging at the frayed hem of her sweatshirt.
            Cassidy frowned. “Kim, what’s up?” she asked.
            Kim pulled out a stray thread.
            “Kim?”
            “You’re leaving.”
            Cassidy exhaled. “Yeah. I am.”
            “You’re going to Boston. Grad school.”
            “Only for eight weeks. I’ll be back for Spring Break.”
            “And then you’ll leave again.”
            “It’s just grad school-“
            “I’m sure that’s what you said when you came here for undergrad too.”
            Cassidy’s face crumpled a little bit. Kim averted her gaze.
            “Kim, I know this is hard – “
            “Do you?” Kim glared at her. “Do you really?”
            The softness in Cassidy’s features hardened. “I do know,” she aid softly. “More than you realize.”
           
            Three months prior, the July sun beat down on the world below. It baked the concrete and parks alike. The sidewalk was almost too hot for them to walk on, even in her sandals and his boots.
            He held Cassidy’s hand loosely as they walked down the street. His fingers were wrapped around hers, nearly hiding her hand from view. Their hands perspired against each other’s, but they didn’t notice. Six months together seems to have that effect on couples.
            “How are you still wearing that outfit in this weather?” Cassidy asked. She lightly nudged his elbow with her own. “Aren’t you roasting?”
            He glanced down at his black t-shirt and jeans. “Eh. I’m fine. Besides,” he grinned down at her, “I’d rather not get my entire back sunburned.” He winked and Cassidy stuck out her tongue.
            “Halter tops are back in,” she stated.
            He chuckled and his eyes returned to the horizon. He was always looking into the distance – especially today. Cassidy would often ask him about it, but he’d just smile and tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear.
            He did so when she questioned him as they crossed the street and ducked into the local coffee shop. He grabbed their usual table and she went to order – black coffee for him, and a white chocolate mocha for her. Iced today, given the heat, but their usual.
            She weaved through the smattering of tables, passing other patrons who talked quietly over the own iced tea or coffees. The space wasn’t too busy today. She found him staring out the window as she approached. Setting their drinks down, she sat.
            “What’cha thinking?”
            “Thoughts,” he said.
            She frowned at him. “There’s something on your mind.”
            Rolling his eyes, he turned to face her. “There’s always something on my mind.”
            “Yes, but more so than usual today.” She brought her mocha to her lips and took a sip. “Besides, you’ve had that look since Monday.”
            He raised an eyebrow.
            She raised both.
            He sighed and took a sip of his iced coffee.
She pursed her lips.
“I’m moving to LA next week,” he said.
            The world fell quiet and began to spin around her. “LA?”
            He nodded; green eyes angled back out the window. “I got a job offer. Production Assistant.”
            “Where?”
            “Scat-Cat Studios. They’re an independent film company.”
            She swallowed another mouthful of mocha. “Oh.”
            Her eyes dropped to the cool drink in her hands. Around them, a few pedestrians trickled in, laughing and expressing their gratitude for the invention of central air. An even more daring group meandered out, cold drinks perspiring in their hands. A bead of moisture rolled between her fingers, slipping into her palm.
            “Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered.
            Closing his eyes, he turned back to her. “I though it would be easier to just let things play out.”
            Her jaw clenched. “Play out?”
            “Yeah. Go with the flow. See what happens.”
            Cassidy’s hands tensed around her drink. “Why?”
            He blinked. “It’s easier that way.”
            Cassidy slammed her mocha down on the table, pushing her chair backwards with a clatter. He and the other customers jumped.
            Words trembled on her lips as her eyes misted over and her shoulders hunched up and forward. “So you were just going to leave. Just like that,” she managed to choke out.
            He shrugged. “Yeah.” He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Seemed best.”
            She closed her hands into fists and ground her teeth together. “Then why are we even here?”
            “It doesn’t mean I like you any less –“
            “But you don’t like me enough to stay.” She wiped angrily at her cheeks. “I get it.”
            “Cassidy –“
            She glared at him – furrowed eyebrows, narrowed eyelids around dilated pupils, lips pressed into a thin line.
            He fell silent and looked out the window.
            Cassidy knocked the mocha to the floor in a fit of motion. The clatter of another chair had her turning and facing the staring patrons. They watched as she ran, leaving her drink in a puddle on the floor.
           
            “I never heard from him after that,” Cassidy said. “No phone calls, no letters.”
            Kim shifted her weight.
            Cassidy sought out Kim’s gaze. “You knew this was coming Kim. I know it’s hard, but you knew.”
            “Doesn’t make it any easier.”
            Cassidy sighed. Kim dropped her crossed arms.
            “Look,” Kim said, “I’m happy for you, honest. But…”
            Cassidy cocked her head.
            Kim rolled her eyes. “I’m pissed, ok? I don’t want you to go.”
            Cassidy smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes. Her eyes remained still. “Kim…”
            “Cassidy, I still –“ Kim’s mouth closed and she clenched her hands. “Damn it.”
            The brunette strode forward and tugged Cassidy roughly into a hug. Kim buried her face in Cassidy’s hair as moisture dampened the strands. Cassidy’s blue eyes went wide. She could feel Kim’s breath on her neck.
            “I don’t want you to go.”
            Cassidy’s arms wrapped around Kim’s waist and her hands fisted in the other woman’s shirt. Cassidy pulled Kim to her and buried her face into Kim’s shoulder. Their grip tightened on each other.
            The rain tinked quietly against the window. Ragged breaths filled the space.
            “I’m sorry,” Cassidy whispered.
            Outside, a car horn honked.
            Kim pulled away abruptly, scrubbing at her face with her sweatshirt sleeves. Cassidy hastily pawed at her cheeks in response.
            “That’s your mom,” Kim said.
            “I know.”
            The silence stretched.
            “Kim, we’ve talked about this…”
            “I know, I know.” Kim sniffed. “We’d never work long distance.”
            Cassidy laughed softly.
            “Besides,” Kim gave a stiff grin, “We’d be too badass for the world to handle.”
            The blonde snorted.
            Kim turned and grabbed the nearest box. “Shall we?”
            Cassidy’s lips pulled upwards and, this time, the smile touched her eyes. Just a little bit. 

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